Monday night
Monday, May 29th
It’s hard to believe that court was one week ago today. And we still haven’t seen our Lilia yet! We do have word about when she’ll be here though. It’s not a scenario we are very pleased with, but we have no control over it. She was not in an orphanage with Regina. She was in a smaller village even further away. So she is arriving in Bogorodskoe (Regina’s village) tonight via plane or car. She will live there until Saturday. On Saturday she will take that super long boat ride with a caregiver…same one Regina took. She’ll arrive at our apartment around 9 pm on Saturday night. We offered to pay for Lilia and a caregiver to fly from Bogorodskoe to here but it is not an option for some reason. We are just sick and angry that Lilia has to experience that same boat ride and so many other changes. She lived in the children’s hospital for about 2 years (most of her life) and then got moved to this other place (probably for overcrowding reasons…they move children around like they’re cattle or something). So we will only have 2 nights in Khabarovsk with Lilia before we go to Moscow. If it’s anything like the first 2 nights with Regina than it’s not going to be good. We already know to expect some nasty stuff the first night. I would never want to relive that night with Regina ever again. The worst part is just watching these children try to take in their surroundings. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. I can’t imagine going through it again with a different child. At least we’ll be somewhat prepared for it this time. And maybe Regina will really help her sister adjust. We should really have things going well with “R” by this weekend. It’s already amazingly better in only 4 nights.
The thing that is a little more concerning to us is the birth certificate stuff. Yelena, the lawyer, will be going to the village on Friday this week (June 2). She’s taking the boat to get there too. She’ll be doing the birth certificates on Saturday, June 3rd with some worker who has agreed to go in the office on her day off. Then Lena will be coming home with the new certificates on a 6 AM boat Monday, June 5th. That is the day we leave…at 6 pm. So if something doesn’t go right along the way, we have very little margin for error. They insist this is fine and nothing will go wrong unless there is an earthquake. It all can not be done until this weekend for some reason. We’ll just pray that it all works out. We certainly don’t want to stay here longer than we have to though. We like it, but we’re ready to be home. We miss the boys terribly. 12 nights down, 11 to go.
Yesterday afternoon we hit our first real “We’re bored” status. Regina only napped for 30 minutes in the car so we had all afternoon with her. We colored, played ball, played with toys, blocks, play-doh, etc.. and there was still time. We don’t watch TV or movies at all with her so there is quite a bit of time to fill. Thank goodness it’s warm weather so we can do the parks. We went to the park across from the hotel and met up with the 4 other American couples that are here adopting. Everyone usually goes out at 10 am and again at 4 pm. It is really fun to socialize with them. I met the mom who had court right after us (the dad went home already). They didn’t have any delays either so the judge must have been in a good mood that day. Their court hearing lasted 60 minutes. It is just fun to chat with people that are in the same predicament as us.
We ate a pizza for supper last night…again. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m very tired of pizza. Regina had porridge, yogurt, and an orange. She doesn’t like pizza. Probably never had it before. She loved the orange, however. She couldn’t get enough of it. I have to cut everything in small pieces because her teeth are really bothering her. There is some blood in one of the top spots where we think her top 4 teeth are embedded. It looks so horrible in there it makes us cringe. Her mouth also really smells bad….even after brushing 2x a day. She holds her mouth a lot and is in obvious pain. Maybe that is part of the reason for the fever and a lot of the crying. I did bring some numbing solution for teething at our dentist’s recommendation. Both girls have appts with the dentist on June 16th (one week after we get home). It will be an evaluation on our laps and then we’ll schedule the surgery for Regina. We already know she needs a bunch of teeth pulled and some serious work in there. We have our pediatric dentist on stand-by. This will be done in the children’s hospital in Mnpls under anesthesia. They will do a cleaning at this time too. I hope Lilia doesn’t need any work but the dentist will take a look at her to see if she does. Meanwhile, we are doing everything we can to keep her away from the dentist here. The interpreter suggested we go but there is no way I’m going to one here unless it’s dire. We’re doing a lot of mashed up food (bananas), porridge, yogurt and small pieces of meat/cheese for her.
After supper we started our bedtime ritual. We did a bath again which she adores. I am so glad! It’s super fun to watch. She sings little Russian songs and splashes away with her bath toys. She helps wash her body but I’m trying to show her that I will do that part. I want her to start to rely on us for some of these things. It’s good for attachment. She needs to know that she doesn’t need to do everything for herself. We video taped one of her songs and it’s darling. I wish everyone could hear it. We were both smiling ear to ear listening to her. She just seemed like an ordinary happy girl in the tub. It is times like that though that I sure wish I could understand what she was singing or reading to us.
After bath we put pj’s on. I finally figured out why she doesn’t appear to like all the pj’s I brought. It’s because she wants an undershirt on! She will not put any shirts or pj’s on until you put a shirt on first. So that explains the fighting on the pj’s every night. It was an “A-ha” moment. Dan went out and bought another undershirt. So I now have about 3 I can wash and rotate through. She doesn’t need one because the weather is still pretty nice, but it’s comfortable for her so we’ll stick with it.
I did my lotion routine on her hands, arms, legs, and feet after she was in pj’s. She was so excited! Then we brushed teeth and read books together (well, she read them to us actually). We tucked her in and said good night. She asked for a drink of water. She called papa in one more time and me in one more time. We just kissed her and said good night again. Then she went to sleep!!!! It was only 9 pm. We were so totally stoked at this success. We made popcorn and watched a movie on our bed. It was so good to feel like normal people again. We were totally giddy.
Regina woke up around 8 AM. She laid in bed until 9 AM. I just wanted to see if she would get out of bed on her own. She never did. She just happily talked to herself and played with a little camera toy. I went in to say good morning and she played peek-a-boo with me for quite awhile. Then she got up to use the toilet. Then we had breakfast. I made her some blueberry porridge which she devoured. I feed her with the spoon in the mornings. She really enjoys that. I also cut up an orange again. She’s taking to the sippy cup for her juice and milk now.
Dan went to “work” at the internet café all morning so Regina never saw him in the AM. She never asked about him while he was gone. This was a bonus for me. She got mad at me one time when she wanted to go outside and I said I had to take a bath first. She cried for 10 minutes but I set her up on a little stool outside the bathtub while I showered with a few toys. She calmed right down. I actually got all the dishes washed (no dishwasher of course) and called home too before she asked again about going out. Then we went to a different park down the road for an hour. There were wild dogs (strays) at the hotel park so I wasn’t comfortable with being there. We just swang on a big bench swing most of the time. It was relaxing. She held my hand on the roads the whole way and gave me no trouble about going home. I said, “Pashley Dom” (Let’s go home”) and she actually came. I have learned more Russian than I ever thought possible. I know it’s not all perfect and we probably have some of it wrong, but I know enough to get by with her now. I understood when she said “stop”, “do it again”, “faster” and “hold my hands” at the park. That’s pretty exciting.
When we got home, Dan was already here. That was a nice surprise. We quick got ready for lunch and got in the mashina. Regina’s new nickname is REGINA MASHINA! J She loved the Borsch (potato cabbage soup that’s popular here) and bologna/cheese. She blows on her soup in the cutest way. She’s used to everything being really hot. We got the low down on Lilia at the office and then got back in the car. We had a different driver and car today and she noticed right away. She told Nastia, “new seats”. She is one smart girl. Regina wanted Nastia to zip her coat and hold her hand. We told her “no”. Nastia is really working on getting her to hold our hands and she’s trying not to get in her face anymore. I know it’s so hard for her (Nastia) though. I can see how much she wants to squeeze her and hold her. But Regina needs to learn to come to us for affection and only us. We will continue this at home too. It won’t be easy at times. When we got out of the car, Regina willingly came but that was only because she thought Nastia was getting out too. When Nastia AND the mashina took off, well, you guessed it….the crying started. We started the time clock though and it only lasted 8 minutes! What an accomplishment! We think the front desk ladies are really wondering about us because she’s crying almost every time we come in the building. We just came in and did the bathroom and laid on our bed for a nap. She actually got on the bed and laid next to me. She was out about 10 minutes later. She slept for 2 hours. And now she’s wandering around doing her hair over and over, drinking milk, and just generally happy while we do our own thing. She really is a well-behaved, fun, easily entertained child. She smiles at us a lot at home. She’s just uncertain of new situations and ones where there are lots of new people. You can’t blame her though.
We’re off to the park to see if any of the Americans are still out there (well, one is Canadian and one is German). More tomorrow!
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