Moritz Adoption

Wednesday...

Wednesday, May 31^st

Yesterday was just not a good day. Dan and I hit the self-doubt stage and we started bickering between the two of us. And Regina was very difficult to deal with. It is just so exhausting to constantly question if you’re doing things right and what the next step should be and if you’re possibly messing up your child for life by doing what you just did. One thing we most definitely learned yesterday: skipping nap time is the worst idea we’ve ever had.

Bedtime last night was absolutely miserable. Regina thought she was going outside after her bath and she dressed herself in her clothes again. (I had forgotten to put them away during her bath time.) We told her it was bed time and of course she hated that. She started crying and whining and pouting for a very long time. We did all the regular bed time things. Dan gave her a bath. She bawled. Afterwards she sat on the ground for lotion and I told her we do that in the bed like every other night. So I put her up in the bed. She bawled. We took off her pants and got her in pj’s. She bawled. We read her a story while she bawled. We said good night and she bawled. We let her be alone for a bit just to give her some space and then we kept going in to let her know we’re here for comfort. She wanted nothing to do with Dan (it was like that all day) but we felt it was important for him to continue the bed time since he was the one who was “disciplining” her. She needs to know he can be firm and loving. If I were to take over then it would defeat the whole concept of getting her to trust him again. I can’t stand the crying so I thought I was going to go out of my mind. I left the room for a bit and ate some chocolate. ;) Considering that we thought bedtime would be easy because we had her skip her nap (we were out too late in the afternoon and thought 4 pm was too late to go down for one), we were in for a surprise. She must have been so tired that she couldn’t sleep. Then Dan and I were questioning each other’s response to her crying and what we should do next. We don’t always agree on the next step. It was horrible. We both just wanted to throw the towel in. Regina cried so hard she threw up in her hands after drinking some water in bed. Then even after she fell asleep she was whimpering while she slept. It was so sad to watch. We stayed up late watching a movie and talking over our plan of attack for today. We discussed the good and bad of the day and decided on a few things that need to change. We have to be a team and agree on the right way to do things. It is mostly trial and error. Needless to say, we are frightened to get Lilia because we don’t know what we’re in for.

Not everything about yesterday was terrible though. We did have some fun times. I painted Regina’s nails. She loved that. I watched her color in a coloring book and she did a great job coloring in the lines. We watched the street workers clean up the street with small brushes and brooms. They do such a nice job of keeping up certain areas of the town even though the buildings look so run-down. We went to the park in the afternoon with the other 6 American couples that are here. That is always very fun. The other MN couple (with the twins) invited us up to their room after dinner for a drink and playtime with the kids. We enjoyed that a lot. It was fun to see Regina with other children since we haven’t seen that yet this trip. She was sharing and interacting a little bit with them. She usually clams up a bit with new people and doesn’t come out of her shell for awhile. Dan and I tried a drink called “Super Hooch”. It’s like an alcoholic orange crush. I might need to buy a few more of those. We will host that family at our apartment tonight after supper. They are only here for 2 more nights. It’s neat to see the various apartments too. The kids especially love seeing each other’s toys. It gets old playing with the same ones over and over.

Natalia made us a stuffed calamari dish last night. It was delivered to our room. It was like a giant squid (looked like giant pasta noodles) stuffed with rice/cheese/imitation crab. Dan didn’t even try it. Regina took one bite and didn’t like it. I only ate the stuffing. We took the leftovers to Steve and Jessica upstairs and they were so glad to have it. We gave them some of our leftover pizza too. We have way too much food to eat ourselves.

We got to witness a babushka (grandmother) yell at one of the American dads for not disciplining his children who were fighting over the swing. That was pretty funny. The babushkas are not shy about telling moms/dads that their children’s clothes or hats aren’t appropriate too. I would love to see Regina wear dresses w/o leggings but I know they’ll yell at me if I do that. She is trained so well that she puts her hood on every time we go outside. She’s not even comfortable w/o it on. Dan also made friends with some young boys who spoke some English. It was cute. I took their picture.

Regina did not sleep very well last night. She came into our room and woke me up by poking me and saying “Mama”. It scared me to death since she’s never gotten out of her bed before. Her covers had come off of her so I went and tucked her back in. Then awhile later she fell out of bed and started crying. So Dan went and got her off the floor. Then she came in our room once again. I was too tired to take her back in here so I put her in the middle of our bed. Like Dan said, it was like sleeping with the dog. She was very restless and moved around a ton. So we didn’t get the greatest sleep. But she woke up happy and she was very snuggly with me during the night.

This morning we stayed home until 10:30 am. Regina ate a huge breakfast….porridge, yogurt, and 2 pieces of toast. We have decided to speak very little Russian to her starting today. She is having an adverse reaction to Dan speaking Russian to her. We also asked Nastia to speak only English to her from now on if possible. And she told the other staff members too. I know it is hard for them, but it will help us so much. Nastia did a great job of it this morning. It is amazing what Regina has learned already. In the elevator yesterday she said (out of the blue), “Give me five!” It was hilarious. She will now say most any word you tell her to repeat. So we’re just saying words over and over until she gets it. It will take time though.

We all went to “The Cliff” (park area with the beach) this morning and strolled Regina around in the stroller. She seemed to enjoy the stroller. It was raining during some of the time we were out but it eventually stopped. It is cooler but still very humid. We told Nastia that she is such a likeable person and we are sorry to have to keep Regina away from her affection. She gave us a compliment and said she likes us too and thinks we’re doing a good job with Regina. We don’t usually use her and the driver during the day (other than at meal times) and they can’t figure out why we aren’t using them. They get paid regardless but they feel guilty for having all this time off I guess. We told them to just enjoy it! Our life is easier if we just stay home. Nastia told us today that the whole staff will have June 5-20^th off. That’s a lot of days. I guess no one is coming here for awhile from the agency.

We just got back from lunch at bit ago. For once Regina did not cry when we got out of the car. We came in and went down directly for nap at 2 pm. I tried to take her shoes off but we have learned that that is one of her quirks. She has to wear her shoes at naptime. She flips out if we take them out. I decided it’s not a battle I need to fight. Who really cares. I laid with her for a bit and then left the room while she was still awake. She fell asleep w/o me. That is awesome. The boys were not napping at this age but she definitely still needs the nap.

So, that is today’s update. My first new gig today was putting tights on Regina. I can’t say I’ve ever done that before. She sure loves dresses. The boredom here is getting thicker each day. We’re just ready to leave. Our 10^th waiting day is up tomorrow. So that means Friday is when they can get birth certificates with our names on them as the parents. That’s why Lena can’t go to the village until then. We are almost officially the girls’ parents. But it feels strange since we don’t even have Lilia yet. All the other couples here think getting her 2 days before we leave for Moscow is going to be really good. They said all the children here now are getting attached to these apartments as their real homes and that they’ll once again get ripped out of something. I don’t know what to think. I just know we’re going to have one busy summer.

By the way, we highly enjoy all of your emails and blog comments. We do check both of our email accounts several times a day…Dan’s Harbor account and our family doozer account (doozer@fastmail.fm). Thank you for all of your encouraging notes.

posted by Dan @ 12:41 AM